


Nothing You Confess Could Make Me Love You Less

by ifwallscouldspeak



Category: Black Lightning (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternative Universe - Crossover, Communication, Established Relationship, F/F, Femslash February, Fluff, Future Fic, Light Smut, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 11:07:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13569318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifwallscouldspeak/pseuds/ifwallscouldspeak
Summary: Anissa knows that the moment she tells Iris - girlfriend, journalist, cop’s daughter, all around ray of sunshine - that she’s a vigilante, it’s all gonna go downhill.(Inspired by the prompt, “I’ll still be here when you’re ready.”)





	Nothing You Confess Could Make Me Love You Less

**Author's Note:**

> Whoever decided that Black Lightning wasn’t gonna be in the DC-tv-verse specifically hates me. Because let me just! Iris and Anissa BLACK FEMME POWER COUPLE also! So many interesting dynamics between their parents I LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE. 
> 
> Title from “I’ll Stand By You” by The Pretenders.
> 
> Written for my personal [Femslash February](http://lo-cotidiano.tumblr.com/tagged/jennifer+does+femslash+february) challenge :)

+++ 

 

“What do you mean you still haven’t told her?” Jennifer cocks her hip, eyebrows all the way up on her forehead.

Anissa takes a deep breath. She has to refrain from asking her little sister who she thinks she is talking to her like that. _I used to change your diapers, girl_ runs through her mind; it sounds so much like her mother that she has to take a deep breath to pause. Center herself. Rewind.

“Jen, it’s more complicated than -”

“What?” Jennifer asks. “You’ve been dating ten months already. You’re staying over at her loft every other night. She came over for family dinner three weeks in a row! That all pretty much adds up to a conversation about you being a superhero.”

“And how exactly do you suggest I bring that up?” Anissa demands. “Hey, Iris. You know I like you a lot, right girl? You rock my world. And oh, here’s this massive secret I’ve been keeping from you!”

Jennifer gives her an unimpressed look. “Why you gotta do that.”

“Do what?”

“Every time you get emotional about a girlfriend, you do that fake creepy old man on the corner voice.”

“I do not!”

Jennifer rolls her eyes. “Whatever. You do you. But Iris deserves to know that you’re Thunder.”

Anissa takes a deep breath, clenching her hands into fists on her knees. The electricity hums right underneath her skin, red sparks charging along her muscles and bones. She’s annoyed with her little sister, yeah, but mostly she’s just angry with herself. She knows that Jen’s right, but she just can’t do it, not if she wants to stay in this relationship. Because Anissa knows that the moment she tells Iris - girlfriend, journalist, police detective’s daughter, all around ray of sunshine - that she’s a vigilante, it’s all gonna go downhill.

 

+++

 

Iris is on the phone when Anissa lets herself into her apartment, keys jangling loudly in the door. She has the television turned onto the news, but the sound is off. Anissa tries not to groan when she catches a glimpse at the captions: _The forecast said it would be a clear night, but it looks like we’ve experienced some Flashes, Thunder, and Lightning!_ She wonders if it would be an abuse of power to knock out the broadcast tower on top of the news building.

“ - Long as Barry is okay,” Iris says from her spot on the couch. “Do we know who Light -”

“Hey,” Anissa calls out.

Iris stiffens for a moment, and then looks over her shoulder. A smile blooms onto her face, before she focuses back on her phone call.

“Sorry, Cisco. I gotta go - yeah, she just came home. Okay, we’ll talk later. Bye.”

Anissa toes her shoes off at the door and makes her way over to the couch. Iris places her phone down on the coffee table, and before Anissa can even sit, Iris is in her arms. She slides into her, kissing her neck and her cheek before reaching her lips. Anissa sighs softly, trying to melt back into Iris’s touch.

It just gets her, every time.

That she gets to hold and kiss and love this woman.

She has to pull back for a moment, feeling the electricity hum everywhere underneath her skin, begging to just let loose. To be as free as Anissa feels when she’s with Iris.

“How was the gym?” Iris asks.

Ah, right.

Her cover story.

“It was fine,” Anissa says. “I probably overdid my ab workout, though.”

What she really means is _some low-level henchmen 'roided out on Speed Juice roundhouse kicked me right in the ribs. Luckily my kid sister - you know, bratty college student by day, superhero by night - Kid Flash, and the Flash were there to back me up after I landed flat on my ass_. _You know the Flash right? You used to write that blog about him? He got smacked upside the head trying to protect me._

“Poor baby,” Iris mutters, a spark in her eyes. “Maybe I should kiss it all better?”

Before Anissa can say anything else, Iris is whipping her hoodie off and pushing her down onto the couch. Iris straddles her, grinning mischievously, her short, dark hair falling into her face. Anissa grins up at her, and tries to reach for her to pull her back down and kiss her. But Iris just shakes her head coyly and leans over her, kissing the skin right underneath her sports bra.

“Feel any better?” Iris asks.

Anissa tries not to squirm as Iris starts trailing her lips over her stomach. “I - yes.”

“Hmm,” Iris dips her tongue into her belly button. “It doesn’t sound like that...”

“Iris,” Anissa breathes.

Iris lifts her head up just a bit to wink at her, and Anissa tries her fucking hardest not to tear the couch cushion beneath her with her bare hands. The electricity is free flowing through her body now, and it feels so damn good. It runs along her blood and sparks at all the places that Iris places wet, hot kisses into her skin. She has to squeeze her eyes shut, trying to breathe through it, when Iris begins tugging down the waistband of her sweatpants.

“I think I know what will make you feel much, much better,” Iris whispers against the skin of her hipbone.

“Please,” Anissa pants.

Iris mouths at her panties now, fingers coming up to press into her through the soft cotton. Anissa leans her head back, closing her eyes. Sparks light under her eyelids. Iris begins speaking, her lips brushing teasingly against Anissa. It’s not enough and too much all at the same time, and Anissa just wants her to just get to the main event, already.

“Also, I forgot to ask,” Iris is saying. “My dad’s having a barbecue this week -”

“Yes, yes,” Anissa says, trying to press herself down onto Iris’s fingers and mouth. “I’ll go. Now, please -”

Iris chuckles softly before she’s tugging Anissa’s panties to the side. Anissa moans, not really paying attention to anything else but Iris’s tongue.

 

+++

 

“I still can’t believe you tricked me into this,” Anissa says.

“Me?” Iris widens her eyes, pretending to look innocent. “No trickery, none at all.”

Anissa laughs and Iris squeezes her hand as they enter her father’s backyard. The barbecue’s already in full swing, the lawn crowded with police officers and their families. Anissa smiles through it all, using the same face that she does during any Garfield promotional events. And lucky for her, she’s had to endure enough ballgames and dinners with Inspector Henderson to have a smooth poker face around police. She has no idea how her dad does it, maintaining such a close friendship with the cop and hiding his secret identity.

A knot tugs at her stomach as she realizes it’s probably the same way she’s keeping this all from Iris.

They make the rounds together, saying hello to all the officers that they both know, Iris introducing her to the ones she doesn’t. Joe gives her a big hug and tells her to bring her family over to the next one. Anissa’s heart skips a beat, first in excitement and then in dread. She smiles prettily, hoping she’s not giving too much away. Luckily, Iris spots her ragtag group of friends and drags Anissa over to them.

“Anissa!” Caitlin says, giving her a big hug. “It’s great to see you.”

“You too,” Anissa smiles as she steps back.

Cisco, Wally, - he always makes Anissa laugh, asking after Jen and _would it be weird if we all double-dated?_ \- Julian, and Barry all give her her huge hugs as well. Anissa likes them; she likes all of this, friends who are more like family and always have each other’s backs, no matter what. She tries not to think about how much she’s going to miss it, if she tells Iris the truth -

“Whoa, Barry, what happened to your face?” Anissa asks, her vision focusing in on his fading black eye.

Barry shrugs a little too easily. “Gym accident. My, uh, boxing buddy clocked me right in the face.”

“Looks painful,” Anissa says.

“It is. I usually heal really quickly -” Cisco coughs, and Barry cuts himself off. “Uhm. But I’ll be fine.”

Iris says wryly, “Must be something in the water.”

“Huh?”

“Anissa hurt herself in the gym, too,” Iris says. “You guys have gotta be more careful out there.”

“Right,” Barry's smile looks a little strained. “Right.”

 

+++

 

Anissa’s looking for a bathroom when she accidently overhears a conversation she’s pretty sure she’s not supposed to be listening too. It’s Joe, Barry and Iris, all standing in a huddled circle in the living room, shafts of sunlight bouncing off of Iris’s hair. Anissa peeks around the corner; even though Iris’s back is to her, she can tell she’s annoyed by the stiffness of her spine. Barry looks exasperated and Joe just looks concerned.

“ - Deserves to know,” Barry says.

“I really appreciate this, Bear, but she’s my girlfriend, and I’m not ready to tell her yet!” Iris hisses. “I - I need to keep her safe -”

“Not for nothing, honey, but that’s the same thing Barry and I said about you,” Joe says. “And when you did find out, you were royally pissed at us for keeping it a secret.”

“That’s different,” Iris insists.

Barry asks, “How?”

“It just is!”

“Look, I’m giving you permission, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Barry says. “I know you said you’d never tell anyone my secret, but -”

“It’s not just your secret, though,” Iris says. “We’re all involved. Cisco, Wally, Caitlin -”

“And we all agree that Anissa can be trusted,” Joe says calmly. “And - you know. Who knows? Maybe she has some things of her own she’s been wanting to share with you -”

“Anissa?” Iris scoffs. “She’s the most honest - the most real - person I’ve ever been with. And I - look. I can’t mess this up. When she finds out I’ve been lying to her about the -”

“Maybe she’ll be more understanding than you think,” Joe says softly.

Anissa creeps away before she can hear the rest of the conversation, her head spinning. It’s not that she’s angry at Iris; she’d be a huge hypocrite if she was. After all, she knows all about keeping family secrets and being afraid of hurting people she loves by letting them in. But she shouldn’t have stayed listening as long as she did, and she’s worried that if she eavesdrops any longer, than she’s going to learn something she shouldn’t. Not like this, anyway. Not when Iris seems pretty adamant about keeping her in the dark. Because if it had been the other way around - if Iris had overheard something she was talking to her family about - she’d be hurt and embarrassed.

That’s the last thing that she wants to do to Iris.

 

+++

 

“I had a lot of fun,” Anissa says when they get back to Iris’s apartment. “Your dad is a riot -”

“Anissa,” Iris stops her.

They stand in the doorway, Iris’s keys still in the lock. Her apartment is completely dark but the hallway is very bright, creating a weird contrast across Iris’s face. Half of it is bathed in yellow; the other half is shadowed. Iris’s eyes are intense and almost a little fearful. She reaches for Anissa’s hands, lacing their fingers together. Anissa’s heart pumps loudly, her throat feeling like it’s closing up, just a little bit. 

“There’s something - look, something I’ve been keeping from you,” Iris says slowly. “Something - about my past. Uhm. Not really, actually. It’s about my present, too. And my friends? And my future -”

“Iris, stop,” Anissa says.

Iris bites down on her lip, eyes scanning over her face. Anissa takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Iris looks too scared and too panicked to be having this conversation, here and now. And Anissa realizes that she feels the same way. As much as she loves Iris she’s just not ready for this, for something that’s so heavy and probably life changing. Because Anissa isn’t ready to tell Iris her secret yet, either; to let Iris say hers with no reciprocation would be wrong.

It would be worse than lying.

“There’s - something I haven’t told you yet, either,” Anissa says. “And I’m not sure if I’m ready to.”

“Oh?” Iris’s voice is soft. “Oh.”

“And I don’t think you’re ready to tell me whatever it is you’re about to, either,” Anissa says. “But - I’ll still be here when you are ready. Or if you’re never ready. I’m with you, Iris.”

Something shines in Iris’s eyes and for a moment, Anissa is worried she’s about to cry. But instead she just starts grinning and leans in, kissing her softly. Anissa can’t tell if the spark she feels is her electricity or this beautiful thing between her and Iris. But either way, it has her smiling, too.

“Is that okay?” Anissa asks, just to be sure.

“Yes, yes of course,” Iris grins brightly. “It’s perfect.”

 

+++

 

Anissa ends up telling her forty-five days later, though it is quite by accident.

She finds herself standing in the middle of S.T.A.R. Labs, carrying a severely incapacitated Flash - who she discovered ten minutes before was Barry freaking Allen, good Lord - with the help of Jennifer. They’re both still in their Thunder and Lightning costumes, staring at all of the equipment around them with awe. As Anissa’s head spins, she thinks, _this certainly is a step up from the lab in Gambi’s basement._

Then Caitlin and Julian run over to them - and why are they wearing lab coats? - Dragging Barry off of their hands and onto an operating table. Cisco rushes up to them, face full of glee and eyes shining as he pokes at their costumes and begins to ask Jennifer about the mechanisms in her suit. Jennifer’s trying to bat his hands away, looking a bit stressed out, when Anissa spots Iris. She’s sitting at the control panel, giving directions to her father, telling him the exact coordinates of the warehouse that Anissa and Jennifer had left some goons tied up.

Anissa’s jaw drops and suddenly, it all makes so, so much sense.

“Thunder?” Jennifer hisses.

“It’s - it’s fine, Jen,” Anissa laughs. “It’s fine.”

At the sound of her laugh, Iris looks up at them, finally. Her mouth parts just slightly and she stares. Anissa shakes her head, soft chuckles still coming out of her mouth, as she reaches up and tugs her mask off. Next to her, Jennifer and Cisco both gasp, entirely too dramatically, Anissa thinks. But she only has eyes for Iris, who stands up from her seat, eyes wide.

“Oh,” Iris says, before she starts grinning. “Oh!”

She comes around the desk and flings herself at Anissa. Anissa catches her, laughing, as Iris peppers kisses across her jaw and lips. She vaguely hears Cisco tugging her sister away, saying something about checking up on Barry. Anissa pulls back slightly, eyes entirely on Iris. She scans her face, looking for anything negative - disappointment, anger, displeasure - but all she sees is laughter.

“I should’ve known,” Iris says.

“You should’ve known?” Anissa shakes her head. “I should’ve known!”

“We should kiss instead of arguing,” Iris suggests.

Anissa leans in and does exactly that.

 

+++


End file.
